The official cover of the session.

A little while ago, Katy Perry released her MTV Unplugged Sessions CD/DVD. It’s a series of live acoustic versions of some of her songs, as well as a cover of the Fountains of Wayne song “Hackensack.”

Overall, it’s a solid performance–nothing too out of character, nothing too new. Most of the songs she performed were already relatively “unplugged.”

Track-by-track:

1. “I Kissed A Girl” – The first half of “I Kissed a Girl” has been remixed, and while it’s decent, it feels inferior to the original.  The melody’s been played around with a bit, and when she returns to the original in the second half of the song it feels like she’d been holding back for the first half.
2. “Ur So Gay” – Katy doesn’t venture far off the original for this one.  Vocally she does a good job, although she gets a bit nasally at parts (which is pretty much true for the whole album).  It’s a little rushed-sounding after the few changes that she did make, and it feels like she should have slowed it down a bit instead of trying to keep up to the speed of the original “Ur So Gay.”
3. “Hackensack” – Easily the best song on the album, Katy’s version of “Hackensack” is essentially the original with her vocals.  It’s a beautiful song, and Katy does a great job vocally on it.  It’s definitely worth a purchase, even if the rest of the album isn’t.
4. “Thinking of You” – Wasn’t “Thinking of You” kind of unplugged already?  Even so, Katy ventures away from the original arrangement quite a bit, and this version may even be better than the original (which was unintentionally hilarious as opposed to sad and pretty).
5. “Lost” – “Lost” is a great song, and it translates even better into an acoustic version.  This or “Brick by Brick” are probably tied for the second-best song on the album.  Once again, she gets a little nasally on this one.
6. “Waking Up in Vegas” – Sadly, this version doesn’t quite stack up with the original “Waking Up in Vegas.”  The chorus sees her joined by a crappy male backing vocal, and the whole song feels a little rushed.  This might be the worst song out of the session, despite the original being one of her best songs.
7. “Brick by Brick” – “Brick by Brick” is a beautiful song, and it, like “Hackensack,” is a new track for the session.  It brings the whole session to an eloquent close, much like “I Think I’m Ready” ends the iTunes version of One of the Boys.

Is the album worth a purchase?  The songs are pretty hit-or-miss.  “Hackensack,” “Lost,” and “Brick by Brick” are undoubtedly worth buying, but the others are either so close or even inferior to the originals that they feel superfluous.  Still, since each of those songs cost $1.29 on iTunes, it’s probably worth it to just pay a little over double that and and get the whole album, which includes video versions of the performances and an interview with Katy Perry.

Sorry to throw these in late, but I forgot about “3″ and “Video Phone” wasn’t out yet.

Britney’s video for “3″ is, to be frank, terribly boring.  She doesn’t move much, the set’s boring, she doesn’t change costumes or hair hardly at all.  It feels kind of like the video that a new singer without many funds might make.  She does a good job of showing us that, hey, her figure’s back and her face actually looks pretty again.  But the video’s lacking a lot–”Womanizer” was better than this.  She’s moving backwards, you guys.  And her hair is weird.

Seriously, Beyonce and Lady Gaga? Seriously? You kept us waiting for this? I mean…it’s a decent video.  But anytime that freaking Beyonce and freaking Lady freaking Gaga get together, it should be better than decent.  They basically made a video lacking the defining characteristics of both of them: Beyonce’s not dancing like a mad woman, and Lady Gaga’s not dressed/acting like one (she said she wanted to imitate Beyonce so as not to steal the attention, which at least explains that).

There is one thing that I learned from this video: Beyonce’s prettier than Lady Gaga…but Lady Gaga’s way hotter.

Guys, if you follow me on Twitter (which you totally should), you know that I kind of have a problem. I get Ed Hardy and Lisa Frank mixed up all the time.

But it wasn’t until today when I found out why: they actually worked together on some folders and such.

Ed + Lisa 4ever

I mean, it made sense anyways. Ed and Lisa both use super-bright colors, like to put their names on things in huge font, and like animals. The only real difference is that Lisa would use a tiger cub where Ed would use a fully-grown tiger.

The blonde cover of The Fame Monster.

Lady Gaga’s new EP, The Fame Monster, officially drops on November 23

Overall, I’d have to say that fans of The Fame won’t be disappointed.  She doesn’t stray too far from the formula that made her famous: electropop dance music with killer hooks.  Sure, Monster’s a darker take on the idea of fame, and her songs no longer talk about a desire for fame, but the music’s still golden.

Let me break it down, track-by-track:

1. “Bad Romance” – “Bad Romance” is pure pop bliss.  It doesn’t stray far from “Poker Face,” which is totally okay.  Why should it? The video’s already been out, and it’s safe to assume that most of her fans have already seen it.
2. “Alejandro” – Easily the best song on the CD artistically, “Alejandro” tells a story, both through the lyrics and a few talky bits.  The song is catchy, well-crafted, and remarkably happy for a song about the consequences of falling out of love (“Please, stop…Just let me go, Alejandro.  Just let me go.”).
3. “Monster” – This song’s ridiculously catchy.  Lady Gaga sings about a boy she meets at a party or club and takes home (“I wanna just dance but he took me home instead”), who then attacks her in a display to cannibalism (“He ate my heart / He ate my brain”).  “That boy is a monster,” she sings.  This song is essentially a metaphor for some (probably rough) sex with a stranger.
4. “Speechless” – One of the most hyped-up songs of the album, “Speechless” is a slower, almost drunken ballad much in the style of “Brown Eyes” before it.  It definitely showcases some of the best of Lady Gaga’s songwriting skill and true singing ability.  Does it live up to the hype?  Probably not.  It’s great, but it’s not the masterpiece that people have claimed it would be.  It is, however, one of her more “real” songs, and definitely shows a different side to the woman behind the mask.  It’s very reminiscent of the old Stefani EP.
5. “Dance in the Dark” – “Dance in the Dark” is definitely in the same vein as “Rock Show,” an unreleased track by Lady Gaga.  It’s possible that they even describe the same relationship.  In “Dance in the Dark,” Gaga sings about a girl in an abusive relationship (“She looks good, but her boyfriend says she’s a tramp”), who grows progressively darker and edgier as a result (“She’s a vamp but she still does her dance”).  The best part is when Lady Gaga breaks into a slow rap about Marilyn Monroe, Judy Garland, Sylvia Plath, JonBenet Ramsey, and Princess Diana; women of fame who died as a result, in a sense.
6. “Telephone” – A collaboration with Beyonce, “Telephone” starts out slowly as Lady Gaga flexes some real singing muscles, then moves on to a fast-paced dance track.  It ends eloquently, reflecting the opening of the song.  It’s easily the best “dance” song on the CD.
7. “So Happy I Could Die” – “So Happy I Could Die” is about being attracted to Lady Gaga (“That lavender blonde”).  It’s terribly self-indulgent, but it’s meant to be that way–it is, after all, a song about how she likes to touch herself.  This is probably the worst song on the CD lyrically.  It’s really just a bad idea in general.
8. “Teeth” – Sounding a bit (actually, a lot) like a Christina Aguilera song, “Teeth” is a steady, rhythmic chant.  It’s actually really, really good, even if it is the least-Lady Gaga track of them all.

Will The Fame Monster be successful? Undoubtedly.  It’s a unique album, and it shows some definite progress artistically, but it never reaches too far off the formula that made The Fame successful.  The remaining singles (Lady Gaga’s announced that there will be at least four) will probably be “Alejandro,” “Dance in the Dark,” and “Telephone,” as they make the most sense (and are the least vulgar).

I feel a need to break down some random videos that I either like / dislike / thought were weird for all of you. (All of these will be past the break but the first one, just so my front page isn’t overloaded with music videos.)

This is one of those videos where you look at it and say “Oh, this could have been a good idea, but it just turned out weird.” I think that about sums it up.  There’s obviously a lot of focus on the cinematography and not much on making an actual cohesive video that isn’t just insanity everywhere.

This video’s a pretty standard-fare pop video.  Pretty much a party going on, some cars, some costume changes.  Yippee.  The song, though?  The singing is terrible.  The song itself is super catchy.  I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily a good song, but if you can’t sing the chorus by the end of the song then you need to get your hearing checked.

This is like the exact opposite of the La Roux video.  There’s no way that any of this ever seemed like a good idea.  From the awkward dancing, to the glittery birthing canal, to the ridiculous white-washing of Shakira, there’s really nothing good about this video.  Except that it’s pretty much hilarious.

I don’t know how she managed to top the weirdness of the Shakira video, but then again…this is Gaga we’re talking about.  Don’t watch if you don’t like nightmares (or just want to see what would happen if Lady Gaga got sold into Russian Mafia sex slavery).  Seriously.  There is not a single second of this that isn’t pure terror-inducing.

1. Miley Cyrus is STILL too young for this type of clothing.
2. You physically can’t move your hips like “yeah.” That doesn’t even make sense.
3. This song is just plain annoying.

Alright, fun story time!

I had the air conditioning in my dorm room on “low” for several days (it has four settings–off, high, medium, and low).  Being a reasonable person, what would you do if you were cold?

Acceptable answers include:

1. Drop hints that, hey, it’s kind of cold.
2. Ask to turn it off.
3. Just turn it off, getting the point across.
4. Ignore it and deal with it.

Okay, now imagine that you’re the most unreasonable person on the planet.  What would you do?

If you answered “turn it off, then break off the knob and hide it somewhere,” chances are that you’re either:

1. A psychopath of some sort.
2. My roommate.
3. All of the above.

Seriously, the guy didn’t even say anything. Not once. He never turned it off before, never dropped a single hint, he just stole the knob and ran with it.

Of course, this was the stupidest idea ever. I know not to retaliate to this kind of thing, but my friend had an idea and I sort of had to go with it. There wasn’t really any option, since her idea was stinking fantastic.

We got some pliers, turned the air conditioner back on to “high,” and left. Round Two goes to me.

Katy Perry and Zooey Deschanel have the same face. Fact.  But who’s hotter/prettier/the better singer/etc.?

Guess who? (I'm not going to say. You have to hover over the picture.)

Alright. Assessment time.  I think that Katy Perry is hotter or sexier than Zooey Deschanel. I think Zooey Deschanel kind of gives off this feeling of innocence, whether it’s real or perceived, and therefore they tie at overall prettiness.  (This makes sense in my head. Just roll with it.)

Musically speaking, Zooey’s songs with She & Him are “better.”  They have a nice indie-folk-country vibe.  Katy’s pretty mainstream pop, and while her songs are totally addictive they aren’t anything new.

Vocally, I favor Katy. This is really just a matter of opinion–both are good singers in their own right.

Guess.

Overall, I’d say that I like Katy better than Zooey. Katy’s a better all-around package.  She’s more polished-off as a celebrity than Zooey is.  I still love them both, though.  What do you think?

He sucks a lot. And in the “suck-is-a-bad-thing” way, not the “Sliimy-is-really-homosexual-so-he-probably-actually-sucks” way.

I really wanted to avoid giving him any press whatsoever, but there comes a time when things must be addressed.

Perez Hilton is like the king of whoring things out. And he’s whored this…thing out like nothing else.  Seriously.  The guy can’t sing, he looks weird, and he’s French.  (I don’t know why I included the last one, things just work better in threes…just ask your mom.)

The reason that I’m finally addressing him?  VH1 called him “genius,” specifically referring to the above version of “Womanizer.”  Yeah.  Really scary, huh?

Seriously.  This guy needs to be stopped.

If you actually like him at all, even just a little bit, please comment. Because I would like to punch you in the face. (Just kidding, I just want to know if such people exist.)

So, Tuesday I’m going to the dollar theater in Birmingham to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I’ve already seen this movie in theaters, and it was awesome, but I haven’t seen it in theaters and it only cost me a dollar yet.

The thing is, I’ve never been to the dollar theater. It sounds really, really sketchy to me. Then again, I’m pretty much the least-brave person in the country.  So there’s that.

Actually, that isn’t so true.  The other day we were gallivanting around the scary parts of downtown Birmingham around midnight and I was totally unafraid. Of course, I used to do that in Montgomery on a regular basis, since I worked in a baseball stadium in downtown Montgomery and didn’t get off work until after midnight on occasion.

Anyways, I will keep you updated on this adventure. Maybe. There’s always the off chance that I’ll get strangled in the dark theater or something.  (I promise to actually tell you if this theater is safe or not. This isn’t going to be like the mythical Phil Campbell post.)